WARNING: Deep thoughts ahead - proceed at your own risk!

As I sat in my room a few minutes ago, I had an epiphany. Don't be distracted by the big word, it just seem appropriate as I am attempting to wax philosophical.

When I need to escape I have a few pet methods of applying mental Novocain:

1. Shopping, especially for shoes. "When I feel bad I like to treat myself. Clothes never look any good... food just makes me fatter... shoes always fit."
2. Baking. Baking requires concentration so one does not accidentally mix up the salt and sugar, or worse - forgets to add the chocolate. Everything should involve chocolate at some point, even if it means that I am popping chocolate chips while mixing up the rare non-chocolate dessert.
3. Eating - this requires no thought at all...which might by why it is so dangerous.
4. Reading - I truly relish the freedom an engrossing book gives you. If you allow yourself to be sucked it, and you are really lucky, you could avoid surfacing for hours.
5. This one is very potent. Sometimes when I am really in the "depths of despair", I do something so heinous - so monstrous - so wicked...

come closer and I will tell you....

closer...

closer...

I watch... The Thorn Birds.

All 8 hours. The pain, loss, sacrifice, tragedy and suffering.

So now, as I itemize all of these methods of mental anesthesia, I am struck by the realization that all my methods of escape are slightly self destructive. Should I be concerned? Nah! Scarlett had it right - I won't think about that now...I'll think about it tomorrow.